Moving Forward in Social Media

I originally wrote this for another blog I was working on, but have decided to put said blog on hold for the time being. I still liked the post though, and decided to share it here! Enjoy...

I once heard someone say that nobody can escape or outrun their past anymore due to social media, and really, the internet in general, and I suppose that's ultimately true.

The Huffington Post posted this article back in October, and people have been warning us younglings to be careful what we post for as long as I can remember having an account. I even hear tell that no matter what you post - pictures, text, etc. - it will always exist somewhere in the World Wide Web, even if you delete it, and I believe it.

I've been using social media for quite some time. I remember when MySpace was more popular than Facebook. I also remember being among the first generation of Facebook users, starting my account in 2006 when you couldn't use it unless you had a college email. I also got Twitter in 2006 and remember when barely any of my friends had one. Goodness, I've even been texting since 2005 when I got my very first T-9 flip phone!

And don't even get me started on emails and various accounts and blogging and all the rest. I've been starting and stopping blogs since I don't even know when. I've literally littered the blogosphere. The whole internet, really.

And I'll be honest: I'm not the most innocent poster, either. I've done it all, from being a hypocrite to bashing politics, to being argumentative and controversial, to being too serious, to being mean and negative. I've been immature and posted obnoxiously opinionated opinions that I don't even hold anymore, on either side of the fence. I've lied, manipulated, over-shared, flip-flopped around based on whatever phase of life I was in, and heck...I've even sexted before.

But I've also been encouraging. And kind. And funny. And joyful. And honest. And helpful. And worshipful. And challenging, and I've been challenged too.

Simply put, I've grown up a little bit.

I've grown up in my walk with God and in my Christian worldview, in my use of technology, my motivations and my age. And while age isn't necessarily considered an indicator of maturity anymore, I still think growing up holds some weight, and I still believe that people are allowed to change...at least in my book they are.

And in His.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. 

(Philippians 3:12-14, NLT)

So yes, be careful with what you post because it is there forever. But remember that in the grand scheme of all of creation and existence and eternity, what you posted on Facebook at 19 years old is not an indicator of who you are now or how God sees you.

Remember that in Christ, old things have passed away and all things are made new. If you are yielded to Him, God will make a way for you where there is no way. Repent for past social media failures, and make necessary changes where you need to make them. If you slip up and make another posting blunder, delete it and apologize. Acknowledge your mistakes, but keep moving forward. Keep going. Don't let your past - in any capacity, social media or otherwise - dictate your future for one more moment.

Life is short, and there's a purpose for yours.

My Opinion Doesn't Matter...

...and if you're a Christian, yours doesn't really either.

It may come as a surprise, but it's the truth.

I'm not saying we can't have opinions on certain things. For example, my opinion on neon orange is that it doesn't look good on me. See? An opinion that's pretty nonchalant and doesn't really call much attention to itself. It's just...an opinion.

But so often, people (myself included) get this idea in their head that their opinion on certain things actually matters in the grand scheme of all existence and that their opinion is so awesomely correct that it deserves to be acknowledged simply in the name of free speech (which, in my opinion, doesn't actually exist...but I digress).

I've recently discovered that this isn't true.

Now, I like to talk and I like to be listened to. [My opinion is] I don't actually think that's always a bad thing, but it can lead to negative...stuff. I know for my life, it definitely has. Not world-shattering stuff, but...stuff.

For example, a while back I thought that I actually knew stuff about politics, so I thought (on more than one occasion) that I'd shoot my mouth off about my opinion, only to wind up looking like a bit of a fool. (Funny, I think I read about that somewhere...Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. - Prov. 17:28)

I've also been guilty of subconsciously feeling as though I "knew it all," and therefore acted like a "Know-It-All." (Hmmm, that sounds familiar too...We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. - 1 Cor. 8:1-2)

A while back, I chose to only be positive on my Facebook. I wanted to keep it simple and focused on Jesus. Yes, I post pictures of what my husband and I are up to and so on and so forth. But I purpose to preach the gospel to every creature, Christians included, and Facebook is a great way to do that. I've recently given into the temptation to be opinionated recently though, and I've been pretty passive-aggressive about it.

Warning: Honesty Ahead

I'll share articles others have written as a way to sneak my opinion on a topic in without having to say it myself because "I've chosen to use Facebook on purpose to encourage others and share the love of Christ." And in showing such evident Christ-like love, I've even posted some of those articles with specific people in mind that I want to read said article. Why? Sure, there was a part of me that wanted them to think about changing their minds, or even just wanted them to be open-minded enough to understand why we Christians believe the way we do, but it really all came down to two things: A) I wanted the people to know that I was right and that they were wrong, and B) I wanted to share my opinion, in whatever way I could, simply because I wasn't sharing it. MY voice wasn't being heard. MY thoughts and ideas and opinions were left alone.

So classy. So full of love. So humble.

You know what all of that was? PRIDE. Gross, disgusting, nauseating, evil, sin-producing PRIDE. And that's what wanting to share our opinions always is, isn't it?

It's just pride.

We want to be heard. We don't want to admit we're wrong. We want to be agreed with. We want people on our side. We want to defend ourselves or what we believe or what we like or what we want. We want to be right. We want it to be all about us.

But it's not about us, Christians.

It's never been about us. It never has been, and it never will.

If you are a Christian, it's about HIM. It always was, is and forever will be. HIS plan. HIS purpose. HIS people.

My opinion should be HIS opinion. HIS "opinion" is His Word. It's the Bible. That's what we should be basing all of our "big" opinions on. And when we're caught in the middle of an opinion war, we need to always bring it back to HIS opinion...HIS word...HIS truth.

And yes, I know that nonbelievers don't always get why we trust the Bible so much, and I know that it can be frustrating, but God's Word doesn't need defending. (Not to mention, the only reason you're frustrated is probably because of pride anyway, and it has nothing to do with wanting to defend God.) But just in case it does, God doesn't need defending. His Word won't return void. His Word stands the test of time. His Word IS absolute Truth (not an opinion), and we can share what the Bible says and still walk in love. I promise, it's possible!

And I'm not saying we can't be outspoken or bold in what the Word says; by all means, do, be and say. But be bold in love, and check yourself. (I'm still learning how to do this, too!) What's your motive? Are you being led by the Spirit, or by your own flesh and pride? Do you want to glorify Him or yourself? Do you want to point people to TRUTH, or do you want people to "know you're right?"

When someone "wins" an argument or a debate, often times, both people lose. I can't speak for all Christians, but I know my motivation in several past theological debates I've had (and, in my opinion, there's a difference between a heated debate and a healthy discussion - I rarely regret healthy discussions, but I digress) was to get the other person to lose face. My thinking was that if they lost face and had nothing to say, even if they were angry, they'd realize their error and come to the truth of Christ. It was also because I wanted them to know they were wrong. (And...in all honesty...wanting them to come to the knowledge of the Truth often took a backseat to wanting them to know I was right.)

But I can also honestly say I've repented before the Lord for this pride, and I'm not living in those past failures, no matter how recent they may have been. I'm reminded everyday that it's not about me or what I think or about what people have done or said to me, or vice versa. It's about Him and what He said. It's about pressing forward. It's about getting HIS message of LOVE out to a lost and dying world.

Ask yourself these questions, Christ-Follower:

What message am I sending to people?

Is it about me? What I know? What I do? How I'm right? What I think about this or that?

Or do I bring people His message? Do I glorify Jesus? Do I point to Jesus? Does my life produce His fruit? Do my actions, words and thoughts look like His?

Am I living for me, or am I living on purpose for Him?

And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. 

(1 Corinthians 2:1-5)

Slow Down This Season

Today has been the coldest day since the beginning of fall, at least to me. But I've loved it. It reminds me of my Ida-home! And it's just nostalgic in general. This - the holiday season - is my favorite time of the year, and it's a shame it seems to go by so fast each time it comes around.

I got out of class early today, and there was about 20 minutes to spare until the next one started. I started making my way towards the other building. Unbeknownst to me at the time, however, was the fact that I was the only one heading to class so early. When I walked outside, I was immediately hit with the cold air and the fresh smell of fall. I looked around at the gorgeous colors against the gray sky as I approached the door to the next building, when I suddenly noticed how quiet it was. I then realized that no one was in sight - not outside, and not in the buildings on either side of me or in the cars parked close by.

It was silent.

All I could hear was the light wind and dry leaves scratching the ground and each other. I thought about heading inside, but then I decided against it. It was too beautiful...it was too peaceful...it was all God.

He is so romantic, like that. He knows just what sounds and smells enamor and woo me. Autumn and winter scapes, the ocean, summer storms...my heart just melts, and He and I both know I am His and no one else's. No one else can speak this love language to me but Him, because it's one only He can speak.

I took a few pictures (which I'm glad I took because the colors are just amazing), but I wish I would have really taken in the nearly five minutes that I was completely by myself; just my Lover and me. I should have walked the path once or twice more, prayed, and sat silent in His presence.

I had just came from a preaching lab class, where we students get some practice in the pulpit. A fellow student had just spoken on how God is not disappointed in us. Before he began preaching, I already knew that God was not disappointed in me. But by the end of the sermon, I knew it and believed it. It was impactful. It was profound. It was beautiful. And it was God speaking to me.

Those few moments were for me, from Him. They were just what I needed, and I didn't even realize it until writing this. I may go back there today, to take in what I acknowledged but brisked right through earlier. I know He'll show up again. He's already there. He's already here.

I encourage you to not rush through this holiday season. Don't try to keep up with anyone, any trend, or any societal expectation. There are no Joneses to keep up with. There is only God. Love Him, know that He loves you, and love people.

Breathe...

Relax...

Be inspired...

He is here, and He loves you.

I can't tell where my shoes begin and the leaves end!

"Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path."
Psalm 119:105

I actually took this one the other day,
but I wanted to include it here.
It's just so beautiful!

I love those little God-created moments in between the busyness of everyday life, where God just reminds you how much He loves you...What are some of your favorite moments or circumstances, that you know God created just for you? 

Burning!

My heart's on fire, and I can't handle it anymore!

Gone are the days when I played it safe as a Christian.

Gone are the days when I would water down the TRUTH of God's Word and the gospel of Jesus Christ, because I didn't want to offend people, or because I wanted to build rapport with someone, or even because I wanted to preserve a relationship.

Gone are the days when I would compromise my deepest convictions because I thought it would make me a more relational, more relevant, or a more acceptable witness for the Truth.

And gone are the days when I shied away from presenting and proclaiming the TRUTH out of fear of persecution, of rejection, or because I cared what other people - even other Christians - thought of me.

What a lie. What an excuse. What a waste of time, and what a disservice to my King and to His lost, wandering and lonely sheep.

He's entrusted me with this message. He lives in me, and He wants me to live on-purpose...for His purpose! I've been so very, very selfish with this treasure.

But that's over now.

I can't. My spirit...and His Spirit...won't let me. If I try to hold this thing back, I'll only end up violating my own heart and searing my own conscience.

This life is not about me, and I'm tired of living it as though it were, even in the little things.

My life is not my own. I've been bought with a price. Purchased. I don't own me anymore. I don't get to do and say and think however I want to anymore. I belong to Him. My life isn't mine, and it's not for me. And so, I lay it down.

Christians like the first part of Revelation 12:11, that says, "And they overcame him (satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony," which is awesome and true. But no one seems to quote the rest of the sentence, which says, "and they did not love their lives to the death."

I count it all loss...I give my life to Him.

I'm dead. Dead to myself, but oh so ALIVE in Christ. It is no longer I who live, BUT CHRIST WHO LIVES IN ME.

If we're born again believers, we all have the same mandate: to go into all the world and preach the gospel; to be the light of the world, and the salt of the earth.

Oh, that I would just be a good and faithful servant to my King....

New Week, New Season!

Man, oh man, has it been a crazy past two weeks!

Mainly, it' just been because I've been finishing up my abnormal psych class, which I had gotten a bit behind in with trying to figure out what on earth my schedule was going to look like. But all of that's done and over with, and I managed to get a B in the class, so...praise the Lord!

Yesterday began a new term at Bible school, and later this week I start a new course in my bachelors program, so I had been waiting for this week to begin since...well, the beginning of last week, I suppose. I felt like a new week,with entirely new classes, was just what I needed to feel like I could start fresh in not only school, but in other areas of my life as well, particularly my time management and priorities. I was getting ready to plan for this week, however, when all of a sudden...BAM! The Holy Spirit hit me like a freight train...or a consuming fire. Whichever you think makes me sound more spiritual, I guess.

Anyway, this past weekend was the men's conference at church, and neither Brent nor I attended (Brent for work-related reasons, me as a result of having the incorrect genetic makeup for such an event). However, one of the guest speakers (Todd White...check out some of his preaching and street ministry on YouTube. The dude is LEGIT.) was a guest speaker in one of our classes...and then at young adults' service...and then at church Sunday night.

Long story short: revival happened. I know people can say nonchalantly that something "changed their life" and they'll "never be the same," but I can guarantee you...this was different. If you were there, you know what I'm talking about.

My husband and I were spiritually wired all weekend long, and we didn't even have words for what had just happened to us. Probably because there are no words on earth that can describe it...because it was from heaven. It was all Jesus.

Man...I love Jesus.

The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart in many areas over this weekend, but the main focus was loving people and how it's not about us, which seems so expected, but again...this was different.

This changed my life. And I can't really even explain. Not because I don't want to, but simply because I just don't have the words to do it with. I just pray that over the course of my life and on this blog for as long as it may exist, what was imparted to me shines through. Because it's not about me...it's about HIM.

So, this was just a little snippet leading up to my main focus of this post, which was that I feel as if I've entered into a new season of my life since Friday, and already I've seen the evidence of that in such simple things like cleaning and getting my homework done. Later this week, I'm going to officially "start" this blog; that is, I'm going to post on a regular basis. But for now, I'll leave you with a little taste of what I've been talking about...watch at your risk, and be blessed!

Bible Breakdown...James 3:16

This is something I've been thinking about since Sunday night, and even more recently since yesterday: we as Christians should avoid strife at ALL costs. Why? The answer can be found in the book of James.

"For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work."

 - James 3:16 (KJV)

Brent and I volunteer with our church's altar care ministry, and one of our group leaders was teaching at our meeting Sunday night. He was encouraging us as volunteers in different areas, and began talking about the importance of walking in love at all times. He referenced this verse, stating that we as Christians ought to avoid strife at all costs because, as he put it, "when there's strife, there's the manifest presence of the devil." That really stood out to me - it gave me a lot to think about!

How often have I contributed to strife, without even considering it? How many times have I posted things on Facebook that I knew were controversial? How many times have I participated in (or even initiated) gossip? How many times have I been on a mission to prove how "right" I was? How many times have I contributed, in any way, shape or form, to strife? At home? At work? At church? With loved ones? Online? I can  pull out a few specifics from recent months (weeks...days), but I couldn't tell you how many times beyond those that I've been guilty of my fair share of strife-causing.

Thinking about this not only led me to repentance, but it also inspired me to dig a bit deeper into this particular verse and how it relates to on-purpose living. It's located towards the end of the well-known tongue-taming chapter (which is worth a read-through...and another one...and another), but I want to focus on this particular verse tonight.

(Please keep in mind: I am in no way, shape or form a Greek scholar, nor do I pretend to or want to be. I simply love to go a bit deeper in Bible study, and Blue Letter Bible helps me do that - check it out if you never have!)

"Strife" comes from the Greek word eritheia, which means, "a desire to put oneself forward." This word stems from another Greek word, erethizō, which means, "to stir up, stimulate, to provoke." Many other translations translate strife as "selfish ambition" or "selfishness." The Message translation of James 3:16 puts it perfectly: 

"Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, 

things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats." 

And that's what it really is, isn't it? Wanting to look better than others. We want to be right, to be superior, to promote ourselves. We try to cover it with an array of excuses (personality, self-confidence, "my personal opinion is," and so forth), but let's just call it what it is: pride! Plain and simple. We want our voice to be heard, in some way or another. (I may take "wanting my voice to be heard" a bit more literally than some.) The Message translation of this verse really hits home for me because this (pride) is one of my biggest problems! I've been guilty of trying to prove I'm right, of using my body language to let people know that I think they're inferior to me in some way, and of straight-up Pharisaism. 

Real Christlike, huh?

But what's the point of self-promotion as a Christian? Answer: there isn't one! No wonder everything falls apart when selfish ambition exists in the life of a believer - it's the exact opposite of what our purpose here is! It is always, always, always about HIM. His Kingdom. His glory. His people. His plan. His Word.

I have to remember that it's never, ever about me. I'm dead to myself - it's no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me! My personal opinions don't matter in the grand scheme of things. In fact, in my desire to live every day of my life on purpose - the purpose of sharing and spreading the Gospel of Jesus! - every day is an opportunity to grow more and more into the likeness of Christ, and that includes making His "opinions" mine. It includes walking in love at all times, and that means NEVER causing or engaging in strife! It means avoiding strife at all costs.

And yes...I absolutely believe it's possible to walk in love at all times. I believe it's absolutely possible to avoid strife at all costs! Is it easy to do? Not by ourselves it isn't! But that's the beauty - we don't ever have to do it by ourselves! I have LOVE HIMSELF...PEACE HIMSELF, living on the inside of me, and if you're a Christian, you do too!

Will we fail at this from time to time? Sure we will, because we're human. But we can grow, develop and increase in this area daily by spending time with Him, inviting Him into our day-to-day lives, and staying sensitive to His voice throughout our day.

Do that, and I guarantee you - it'll be more and more difficult to not walk in love as you grow up in Him!

Quit being so busy!

These last couple of weeks have been crazy busy full of...well, crazy busyness. 

And it's just not worth it! 

Life is too short, and there's too much to do to have so much to do, you know? All of my volunteering is great, but that on top of double portions of school, and still wanting to see my husband and the occasional friend, is just a lot. (Not to mention, I would like to write from time to time!) Even making sure I dedicate a solid portion of time to God each morning has been becoming a chore of sorts, and that's never OK. 

Like...ever. 

Today, after my hubby woke up with a fever (Calling him healed, in Jesus' name!), I decided to stay home from school myself to finish some late homework (that I didn't even fully complete...blah!) and take care of him. But I also wanted to just kind of...rest. A good friend of mine asked why we weren't at school, and when I told her Brent was sick and I was catching up because we were so busy, she lovingly called me out, reminding me that "opportunity is not obligation" and warning that with all we're doing, "if it doesn't eventually thin out, you'll burn out."

So true! I decided it was probably time to drop a bit of my volunteering (at least one out of four things), and just spend some time getting my home life and personal life organized...because both have been all over the place as of late! Not in any bad way particularly, but it's just been too busy!

Ain't that the truth! Why be so busy all the time, anyway? This life we live is for one purpose: LOVE. We are to love God, and love people...and love those people into the Kingdom, if they aren't already! Brent and I have never wanted a busy life, because we want to be free to serve God wholeheartedly and to serve people. It doesn't mean we won't have jobs or won't take care of ourselves or have fun. It doesn't mean we won't run errands, have places to go and people to see, and it doesn't mean we won't ever be in a hurry or get stressed out about this, that or the other. But we can do those things with JOY...and we can do those things in LOVE...and we can do things PEACEFULLY. (Yes! You can have a healthy stress level and still be at peace, because Peace Himself lives inside of you!)

Yesterday in class, one of my teachers shared this beautiful nugget of truth that was a total revelation to me, and yet it seemed so simple: anything that frustrates, irritates or annoys you is SELFISH. And it is. Unless it's a frustration with the enemy and the forces of darkness, you're only frustrated, irritated or annoyed because it interrupts YOUR plan, YOUR life, YOUR way of doing things, and so forth and so on. 

It is not about you. And it's not about me. It's about HIM, and it's about them: a lost and dying world that's going to hell if we as the Church don't up our game in the love department. 

And how can we even begin to better walk in love if we're so wrapped up in our own little busy lives? If we're always wrapped up in us, and what we're doing, what we have to do, what we're going through and what we have or what we need, at the end of the day, we're going to be inwardly focused and outwardly useless. Why? Because with that kind of thinking, we're bound to end up unnecessarily stressed about everything...because we think everything's about us.

But having said all of that, that doesn't mean we don't need to take time for ourselves. 

"It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, 

eating the bread of anxious toil; 

for He gives to His beloved sleep." Psalm 127:2

And let's not forget that God Himself took a rest after creating the entirety of the universe, and He instructed us to take a day of rest ourselves.

I need to refocus some of my energy and get some things on track (homework schedule, exercising regularly, planning healthy meals, being a good steward of our home, budgeting, and so forth...I even hate to admit it, but even regular time spent with God!) because the last couple months, we've [I've] let those things slip a bit...and when those things slip, it starts to affect other things too. I can't help others if I can't take care of myself. That's what that day of rest is for! 

And every so often, we may needs a few of those days in a row. 

Encouragement for Senioritis

This is how I feel right about now.

I'm trying to finish almost three weeks' worth of homework that I'm behind on, but I'm obviously writing this post. (Embarrassing, I know.) Now, I'm going to finish it all this weekend because I'm only four courses away from a bachelors degree and I do not plan on dropping below a C in this course, and have no desire to repeat any classes. I've been going to school off and on since I was 16 (which is now almost ten years, and equally as embarrassing as my horrid procratination!). I'm so very, very close to being finished, but unfortunately have a very, very bad case of senioritis. This senioritis (which isn't an actual disease, but I'm still pretty sure Christ died for all the same) is one of the three reasons I'm debating grad school. What are those reasons, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

1. Mental. I have no desire to enter my first year of grad school with senioritis. Goodness, that'd be awful beyond description. Not that I couldn't do it, but...why would I want to?
2. Money. My husband and I went from practically being debt free, save one medical bill, to having now both taken out school loans. While I'm not distraught about it, my goal is to eventually not have said debt. As much as I'd love to get my masters degree, I just don't want to take on a higher amount of debt.
3. Motherhood. While I have nothing against workin' mamas, neither I nor my hubby have any desire for me to be one when that time comes. (At least not until they're school agers, and even then...I might be homeschooling, so...you know. That might be tough.)

Now, there are plenty of pros to grad school, too, although none of which I'm going to consider at this moment because it hurts my brain. Time to get back to homework. However, before I go, I want to share some encouragement from Pastor Rick Warren from a devotional he wrote called "Why Do I Procrastinate?" - I found this very encouraging for today, and I hope it encourages you as much as it did me! Pastor Rick said, 

"The next time you find yourself procrastinating, 

stop and ask yourself why. 

Then ask God to help you overcome it 

so you can move forward and do what you need to do."

So simple and so true. 

Happy putting off procrastinating! Back to work...

A Working Woman No More!

Today, I officially put in my two-week notice for my job. I've wanted to for a while now, but haven't felt a peace about it until recently. I couldn't be more excited! One reason is simply that I've been way over-booked. I'm volunteering three days a week after school, doing an internship on Saturdays, volunteering every other Wednesday and Sunday at church, and I'm going to two different schools. I also have an apartment that needs cleaning and a husband that I enjoy spending time with.

My schedule's just a teeny bit full, if you can imagine.

But another reason is that I'm ready to devote 100% of my time to focusing on school (which includes the internship and the volunteering) and being a housewife. I'm so thankful that my husband has a job that allows him to attend school, provides benefits, and one that's placed him in a position of leadership where he can grow and be stretched. I'm so proud of him, and so thankful that God is our ultimate Provider!

Also, Brent and I have been wanting to exercise our faith more in the area of finances, and looking at our budget, it was something where we knew we could manage without me working, but it would definitely make things a lot tighter. However, we knew that it was time to start making that transition for a number of reasons. First, as I said, we want to put our hands to work, but we also want to exercise our faith more. Second, we've been desiring a more simple lifestyle just in general. Third, I've been way too overly stressed about my overbooked schedule, and work was at the bottom pf my priority list. And last, while I'm not opposed to working another job in the future, right now I'd really love to just be a student, a volunteer and a homemaker. (Plus, I'd love to devote a bit more time to my writing, as well!) I went from being someone who was not very faithful at keeping jobs to someone who, with the Lord's help, has grown immensely in the area of faithfulness. He's done so much in me, and I'm thankful to be where I'm at. I know I still have so much to learn, but I am pleased to say that I have finally, finally passed this test. (Thank you, Jesus!) But now, this is the season I'm in, and I'm ready to embrace it!

Brent and I are believers in traditional roles. While neither of us are opposed to women working, we both feel that for us right now, even without any children (though we're hoping that changes soon), it's best if I'm at home. Western society's way of thinking has tried to creep in, of course, telling me that as an able-bodied, childless twentysomething, I ought to be working a job. The thing is though, I will still be working. I just won't be earning a paycheck. In addition to being a student, I volunteer and I intern - all of which is putting my hand to something, and all of which I can "do as unto the Lord" just as much as I can a paid position. Not to mention, my husband is fulfilling what he's to do Biblically, and that is to work a job. (Besides, even Brent who works hard for us, doesn't really work for a paycheck. God is our ultimate Provider! Brent works yes, as the Bible instructs him to, but he works to be a blessing, and to put his hand to something. In doing so, he gives God something to work with, so to speak. But God always provides for our needs, and He still blesses us with the desires of our hearts!)

Speaking of, it's also easy to feel like I'm not contributing or that I'm making my husband do all the work, but that's just a lie from the enemy who's trying to make me feel lousy! We each fulfill roles, and we're happy to do it. My husband works, and I take care of the house. It doesn't matter that we don't have kids yet - there's still a home that needs managed! We feel in our place this way, and right now, we prefer it this way. Brent and I are A-OK with being a one-income household, and we are also A-OK with me holding a job in addition to his if I wanted to. (In fact, I probably will hold another job in the future.) But right now, neither of us want me to work a job, and so right now, I'm not going to. And we're so very, very happy about it.

In conclusion, here's an awesome testimony of God blessing us, and reminding me that me that leaving my job is the right thing right now...Just today, I was feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing. Despite the fact that I'm super excited about this new season, it's a leap of faith all the same. As we went over our budget, we realized that of course, we'd have to cut some things out of our spending and so forth. One of the things that came to my mind was an upcoming outing with our church's young marrieds group. I knew we'd have the money to go this time around, but I also "knew" it might be the last one for a while. Then I was reminded by the Lord that I'm trying to exercise my faith muscles, and believe more strongly for Him to provide in the area of our finances. Awesomely enough, a couple hours later, the leader of our young married group (who had no idea I was quitting my job - no one really knew) messaged me and Brent on Facebook, telling us that someone had anonymously chosen to pay for our tickets to the upcoming event! I was so blessed and honored, that God would use something so seemingly insignificant as tickets to a pumpkin patch to show me that He's got everything under control.

God is so very, very good!

Rain, Women & Correction

Right now it's cold, windy and rainy in Oklahoma...and I absolutely LOVE it! The only thing I don't love this that my husband is at work and not here to share such a perfect lounge-around-drink-coffee-in-pajamas day with me. But he works hard for us, and I love him for that.

I already haven't posted here as much as I would have liked to, but that's OK. Still figuring out some scheduling things. I've been a bit busy these last couple of weeks with year two of Bible school having just started a month ago, volunteering four days a week, my bachelors degree program continuing in full force (And me getting way behind in my homework too. Abnormal psychology...what's up with that?!), as well as some work-related stress.

But God's been so good to me. I've been blessed to have had some amazing moments with some of my girlfriends this last month - moments of encouragement and joy and bonding. I realize how very thankful I am for the ladies in my life! The world has bought the lie that women are catty and mean-spirited, but that's just not the case. Girls need each other, and we're to be an example to those around us. We need to lift one another up, and pray for one another, and be kind to those women who seem to be so unkind to us. 

As I mentioned, I was faced with a stressful work situation this past week. I won't go into the details, but it led me to have a moment of self-pity and frustration with not only a situation, but also with an individual. I remember silently complaining praying to the Lord about the situation, venting my frustration to Him about everything that had taken place, when all of a sudden, the Lord spoke these words to me: 

"I thought you said you wanted to live in a glass house."

I couldn't say anything. I just chuckled quietly, shut my tear-filled eyes, and shook my head. I had said that. Less than a week earlier, I had said that as my husband and I had both made the decision that we were going to live a life of intention and of purpose. We had decided that we were going to take on the "curse" of ministry that is living in a glass house and embrace it with joy and deliberateness. We were going to live with the constant pebble in our shoe that this life is never, not for one moment, about us; that it is always about others...always about the Kingdom...always about the lost being saved. 

I was then faced with a situation in which I had to come face to face with my own hypocrisy, and while that's not fun, it is good.

"...do not despise the chastening of the Lord, 

nor detest His correction; 

for whom the Lord loves He corrects..."

Psalm 3:11-12 (NKJV)

"If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Hebrews 12:7-11 (NKJV)

Oddly enough, I enjoy getting corrected by the Lord. Not because I'm sadistic, but because I know that God loves me and wants me to be what He's made me to be: a vessel of honor. I know that God is proud of me when I obey and listen to His gentle, whispering voice that leads me closer to Him and His plan for my life.

I challenge you today: take a break from everything, and listen. Listen to that still, small voice on the inside, beckoning you to come a little bit closer, to go a little bit deeper, a tiny bit higher...what is the Holy One whispering to you right now? 

Listen to Him. He knows you like no other.

Post, the First

A Disclaimer, of Sorts

If you've ever followed my blogs or clicked on links to my blogs via Facebook, then you probably know that I've had some trouble sticking to just one blog. I've gone back and forth, deleted, undeleted, and started from scratch various blogs over the past two years since I really discovered and decided to blog. I honestly can't tell you how many blogs I've started and stopped, though I highly doubt it's more than thirty. Regardless, my unused URLs and email addresses are creepily floating around the blogosphere somewhere, and for that, I apologize.

At first, I wanted to stick with just one blog on which I would blog about any and everything, and to date, that blog still might have the most posts I've ever published. But I got bored after a while, and as I discovered more and more about blogging, and wanted to have a niche blog...failing to really understand that in order to have a niche blog, one must...you know...have a niche. I did not.

So that was fun.

Then I decided to stick with a "family" blog - a public blog that was ultimately just about my mine and my husband's adventures, and had the intention of keeping extended family up to date with our lives. I actually posted on that one at least monthly for about a year, and it mainly documented mine and my husband's final weeks in Idaho all the way until about the end of our first year in Oklahoma. I enjoyed that one, but I knew that I wanted to write about more than just what my husband and I ate for dinner and what we did on Tuesday. (Though I'm sure it was riveting...)

Over this past summer, I decided to take a break from blogging at the encouragement of a blogging acquaintance of mine, and I'm so glad that I did! It gave me time to breathe and think about what I really wanted to do. (OK, I may or may not have attempted two additional blogs towards the end there, but I gave up on them pretty quickly, knowing neither was what I really wanted to focus on.) I ended up figuring out what it really was I wanted to blog about, and at the same time, was still not entirely sure. However, oddly enough, that seems to make the most sense this time around. I realized even without a niche, I had plenty to blog about:

• I don't have a niche because I don't have a lot of experience or expertise in any one area, but I'm young and I'm learning every day. That's something to blog about.
  
• I'm a newlywed (Hey, two years is still newlywed in my book!) and learning how to be a homemaker (with a part-time job) and am learning to grow in hospitality - that's something to blog about.

• I'm going to Bible school and finishing my bachelors degree - something to blog about.
  
• I'm a writer, and an aspiring author - there's something to blog about, too.
  
• I'm learning how to eat, cook, dress and decorate well - and that's something to blog about.
  
• I love living a Christian life, and I'm growing everyday and making mistakes everyday. I want the walls that separate the Church to break down, and I desire to live a lifestyle of ministry, encouraging believers and nonbelievers alike - and wouldn't you know it, that's something to blog about.
  
• Ultimately, while my husband and I recently were discussing our life and our future, and we both agreed: We don't mind living in a glass house, nor do we mind living in one on-purpose. In fact, we want to embrace it. We are living a deliberate, intentional, on-purpose, called, set-apart life. We live out our life on purpose, everyday. We live a life of influence, love and kindness on-purpose, for a purpose so much greater than just the two of us and our human desires. And, ultimately, that's something to blog about.

With That Said...

Welcome to Our On-Purpose Life! Even though it's just starting out, my hope is that it would be a delightful little mix of our personal life adventures, endeavors, thoughts, ministry and so forth. I'm looking forward to this new blogging endeavor, and can't wait to share my life with the blogging world...for serious, this time! Not because I'm anything unique or special, but because life is supposed to be shared, and my life is not my own. My life belongs to God, and because it's for God, it's for you too!