Exactly two months from today, we will be arriving in our old-new hometown, and starting a new chapter. Personally, I'm looking forward to being back in Idaho and out of school so I can commit more time to actually developing my writing career. More on that to come, as I...you know...write stuff.
When it comes to my writing, these last two years (really, these last several years) have been a bit sporadic. I've never stopped writing, and I try my hand at different mediums often. But I haven't been able to devote as much time to it as I'd like to, especially not enough to develop it into a side job, let alone a career and ministry.
Still, the two interests I've had and been continuously committed to since their inception in my life, regardless of whatever season I was in or what I was going through, have been God and writing. In fact, in all honesty, I have to admit that even though I believed in God before I ever wrote a well-structured sentence, my "first love" really was writing. It's been my main hobby, pastime, creative outlet and ideal career choice since I was seven years old, but now it's gone from being "just a hobby" and a "dream job," into a full-blown "why not" reality. Now that I'm a closer-to-30-than-20 married woman with a degree in social services, who might have a baby one of these days and who wants to do full-time ministry for the rest of her life, making a priority out of writing is a priority. Now that I am consumed with my Creator more than I've ever been with no sign of slowing down, I can't imagine not creating for and with Him for the rest of my life on this earth.
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I've even had "words spoken over me" (that's Christianese for "one time someone prayed for me and the Lord gave them something to say to me") regarding writing, my words, and how to use them. The Lord has also "spoken to my heart" (a Christianese, and only slightly less awkward, way of saying "God told me so" that is sometimes legitimate and sometimes based solely on human emotions...here's to believing mine is the former) about my writing more than once. I've also received several comments from people regarding my writing that I knew were reminders from Him, about what He wants me to do with my love of writing.
Basically...I know writing is forever in my future.
While I honestly believe that I've always written well (not that I didn't have to learn, but it always came naturally to me), and while I feel my voice as a writer has developed beautifully, albeit not flawlessly, over the years, I have not always written "as unto the Lord." I have written plenty of times - whether that be a blog post, a status update or comment, a letter, or even a text message - with incredibly poor motives and disgusting pride; to correct-in-love, which wound up being passive-aggressive condemnation; and have at various times lacked grace, mercy, understanding, the "big picture" mentality and appropriate discretion. (I even got caught once for legitimately plagiarizing a college essay. It was my first and only time, and during an incredibly low point in an already incredibly low season of my life. I am forever grateful for the gracious professor who dropped me rather than reporting me...though if she had, I wouldn't have blamed her.)
I have written in endless notebooks and typed countless Word documents, with words conveying both beauty and nonsense. I have littered the World Wide Web with failed blog attempts, confessional Facebook "notes" and immature MySpace...um...whatever it was that MySpace called them. I have written spoken word poetry that has been both incredibly lame and surprisingly extravagant. (I love to recite my spoken word pieces, too, but I recite every poem the same way so I definitely need to work on my delivery...ahem.)
I am not a perfect writer, nor will I ever be...but I love to do it. I can write for hours on end, and not tire, forgetting when I started and not wanting to stop. I want to change the world, and I want to do that in action and in word, both written and spoken. I believe I have something to say that the world needs to hear, and the balancing act is making sure I always say what it is He wants me to say; that I stay away from my own opinions and focus instead on His absolute truths; that my thoughts are always His thoughts.
And I look forward to writing every beautifully imperfect piece until I go Home.
I'm not quite sure how to close this post out, so here's my current favorite song. Have a blessed day!
