I broke down and made a new Instagram account.
For those of you know me well, you may not be at all surprised, and I don't blame you.,,but hear me out. It wasn't because I couldn't handle life without social media; it boiled down to a matter of people. I missed seeing everyone's pictures and life updates.
OK, so maybe that's a direct result of social media's effect on culture, but at the same time, people are important to me...and people that I know personally are very important to me. I like knowing what's going on with my friends and family, and that's not entirely social media related.
Sure, I can be a bit "out of sight, out of mind," but that doesn't mean I don't care. The lack of at least having a basic knowing of what was up with people I care about was making me feel a bit left out of people's lives, and like I was keeping people out of mine, albeit not intentionally.
So, yes...I'm back on Instagram. So, maybe it was a cop-out, but I'm glad to be back in the loop. And I can honestly say at the same time, I didn't miss it. But I did miss people and sharing my life with others, so...there you go.
You can find me on Instagram here.
Monday, June 22, 2015
Friday, June 12, 2015
Dreaming with God
I love it when God brings things across my path that are exactly what I need, when I need them.
Today, that was this post from The Better Mom. It hit the nail on the head, hard.
I went through emotions of feeling useless when my son was born, and I didn't love being a mom so much. I was grieving the loss of my freedom and felt like having a child was a distraction from fulfilling the call of God on my life. I worked through that though, by saying out loud to myself that I love being a mom, by telling my son that I love being his mom, and by reminding myself that being a mom doesn't take away from God's call on my life; it's a part of it! It didn't take long until I was at peace with the whole "being a stay-at-home mom" thing, and I couldn't remember ever feeling like I didn't love it.
Or so I thought.
This last week I randomly (read: I had an idea and didn't pray about it, therefore trying to make it work by my own efforts) decided to attend online grad school. I contacted several schools with my major of interest (counseling), applied to two of them, got my financial aid information in, ordered transcripts, contacted references...the whole shebang.
But the whole time, I knew now wasn't the right time. I knew it would be overwhelming and stressful and distracting. I knew it would only put us more into debt than we already are, which alone was enough reason not to do it as we're trying to get out of debt, not add to it. I tried to justify it to myself and my husband (who from the beginning didn't think it was the right time) by weighing the pros: we'd get a military discount, I'd make scholarship-applying my part-time job, I'd have a professional degree by the time our son goes to preschool, etc.
But the Lord's still, small voice was ever present, reminding me what He told me months ago: this is my quiet season; a season of much-needed personal rest. (Yet another reason I gave up social media two months ago.)
So, after a week of unnecessary stress, mental unrest, ignoring my kid, and being hit with a full-on cold that probably would have been over by now had I simply taken time to pause, think, and pray...I'm happy to say that I won't be doing grad school just yet.
Maybe someday, but not today.
My reasons for wanting to go right now stemmed fully from feeling bored, a bit useless, a bad case of writer's block, and feeling as though my dreams and goals might actually be unrealistic. I felt as though I was wasting my time and my talents sitting at home, and started listening to the lies that told me I'd never be a published author and that I'd never write anything worth reading; that I'd never be able to support mine and my husband's ministry dreams with a writer's income; that I might as well just get a "real job" when Declan goes to school.
But I stopped listening.For one thing, that's not what God has ever told me. He believes in my dreams, and He should; He gave them to me! If the God of the universe thinks I have what it takes to write awesome stuff and be in full-time ministry, then I ought to believe I can too. And if I remember to let Him guide my pen (well, fingers), then I know I'll accomplish what He wants me to accomplish, when He wants me to accomplish it.
It's no fun dreaming small, and it's no fun trying to make things happen in your own strength. I'll see certain dreams of mine come to fruition when the time is right; when it's His time. I don't have to settle for ordinary, expected, or anything less than the very best that God has for me...and neither do you! I can (and should) work hard for my dreams to become realities, but I don't have to do it alone or force it into existence. God knows what's best for me and when, and at the end of the day, despite my impatience and apparent ADD, I'd rather let Him take my hand and lead me down His path than try and make my own way.
He is the Way, and I'd rather follow Him.
Today, that was this post from The Better Mom. It hit the nail on the head, hard.
I went through emotions of feeling useless when my son was born, and I didn't love being a mom so much. I was grieving the loss of my freedom and felt like having a child was a distraction from fulfilling the call of God on my life. I worked through that though, by saying out loud to myself that I love being a mom, by telling my son that I love being his mom, and by reminding myself that being a mom doesn't take away from God's call on my life; it's a part of it! It didn't take long until I was at peace with the whole "being a stay-at-home mom" thing, and I couldn't remember ever feeling like I didn't love it.
Or so I thought.
This last week I randomly (read: I had an idea and didn't pray about it, therefore trying to make it work by my own efforts) decided to attend online grad school. I contacted several schools with my major of interest (counseling), applied to two of them, got my financial aid information in, ordered transcripts, contacted references...the whole shebang.
But the whole time, I knew now wasn't the right time. I knew it would be overwhelming and stressful and distracting. I knew it would only put us more into debt than we already are, which alone was enough reason not to do it as we're trying to get out of debt, not add to it. I tried to justify it to myself and my husband (who from the beginning didn't think it was the right time) by weighing the pros: we'd get a military discount, I'd make scholarship-applying my part-time job, I'd have a professional degree by the time our son goes to preschool, etc.
But the Lord's still, small voice was ever present, reminding me what He told me months ago: this is my quiet season; a season of much-needed personal rest. (Yet another reason I gave up social media two months ago.)
So, after a week of unnecessary stress, mental unrest, ignoring my kid, and being hit with a full-on cold that probably would have been over by now had I simply taken time to pause, think, and pray...I'm happy to say that I won't be doing grad school just yet.
Maybe someday, but not today.
My reasons for wanting to go right now stemmed fully from feeling bored, a bit useless, a bad case of writer's block, and feeling as though my dreams and goals might actually be unrealistic. I felt as though I was wasting my time and my talents sitting at home, and started listening to the lies that told me I'd never be a published author and that I'd never write anything worth reading; that I'd never be able to support mine and my husband's ministry dreams with a writer's income; that I might as well just get a "real job" when Declan goes to school.
But I stopped listening.For one thing, that's not what God has ever told me. He believes in my dreams, and He should; He gave them to me! If the God of the universe thinks I have what it takes to write awesome stuff and be in full-time ministry, then I ought to believe I can too. And if I remember to let Him guide my pen (well, fingers), then I know I'll accomplish what He wants me to accomplish, when He wants me to accomplish it.
It's no fun dreaming small, and it's no fun trying to make things happen in your own strength. I'll see certain dreams of mine come to fruition when the time is right; when it's His time. I don't have to settle for ordinary, expected, or anything less than the very best that God has for me...and neither do you! I can (and should) work hard for my dreams to become realities, but I don't have to do it alone or force it into existence. God knows what's best for me and when, and at the end of the day, despite my impatience and apparent ADD, I'd rather let Him take my hand and lead me down His path than try and make my own way.
He is the Way, and I'd rather follow Him.
We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.
(Proverbs 16:1, NLT)
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
(Proverbs 16:9, NLT)
Monday, June 1, 2015
Always Moving Forward
I mentioned in my last post that this past year, my biggest take-away was to "just be" and to "just be me" and to "be the same." But if you're like me, sometimes this can be hard to do on a mental and emotional level because you can get so caught up in regretting past mistakes or the woulda-coulda-shouldas of life.
I've talked about it before online, in my private journaling; in my head, and verbally with others. I've talked about moving forward and forgetting the past and forgiving myself and yada yada yada. All good and true.
Yet, I must admit that I haven't always taken my own advice.
I hate that, but it's true. I'm sure some of you, like me, have experienced this before as well. We tell ourselves to forget and forgive and to move on, and we say that we have and that we are. Sometimes, we really do, but other times are more difficult.
Maybe on the surface, we can even make ourselves and others believe it. But at the end of the day, we haven't actually done anything about it, because we haven't really looked at our hearts. We just know forgiving and pressing forward are the "Christian things to do," so we try our best to do them, oftentimes, within our own strength.
And, oftentimes, we fail. And sometimes we beat ourselves up over...and over...and over again.
We continue to think about our mistakes and regrets and past sins; continue to replay and rewrite scenarios and conversations in our heads; continue to want to change something that is long over and done with, regardless of the consequences we are left with.
This is not only a waste of time, but it's also a symptom of pride. When we mull over the mistakes of our past (whether 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago), we are hoping and wishing to fix things ourselves; we're beating ourselves up for not being perfect, and we're not taking hold of and living out of the grace God freely gives us.
In a sense, we are just nailing Jesus back up on that cross, and without realizing it, saying that His sacrifice wasn't enough to cover our mistakes. As if what I did or said was so bad that He couldn't possibly fix it. As if that thing I said or that thing I did was so bad, that His blood couldn't possibly have covered it.
What a slap in His face!
We cannot beat ourselves up over our past mistakes. God still loves us, and it's pretty dang difficult for Him to stop. We have to remember Romans 8. The whole chapter is good, but specifically:
NOTHING can separate us from His love. Not anything that anyone or anything can do to us; not anything anyone can say about or against us; and not anything we can do, have done, or will do ourselves, to ourselves or anyone else.
NOTHING and NO ONE (including ourselves) can make God love us any less or any more than He already does. It's absolutely impossible. He will literally NEVER stop loving us. Even those who have gone to Hell or who will go to Hell; that didn't or won't stop Him from still loving those people.
Think about it: if you're a believer, what did you do to get saved? Besides believe and confess, NOTHING! You didn't have to be perfect, and you didn't have to get your life right. You just had to believe and confess, according to Romans 10:9-10; you simply had to accept the finished work Christ had already done for you.
So why do we so often think we have to be perfect to please God? Why do we so often think God is mad at or disappointed in us when we mess up? And why do we think anything that we do ourselves could ever keep us saved?
Yes, our works are very important - far more important than some people today seem to think. But even so, our works don't save us. They never could. They never will.
We are saved only by grace, through our faith. Ephesians 2:8-9 is clear on this, as well as on the facts that works don't save us:
We are imperfect people who need a perfect Savior.
I'm quite far from being a Type A personality, so I never associated myself with being a perfectionist. But over this last year, the Holy Spirit has definitely showed me that's been a far greater area of struggle for me than I was ever willing or ready to admit. Instead of being grateful for where and what God has brought me out of, I get mad at myself for not having done it all right the first time. One of the enemy's favorite lines to whisper in my ear is that I should have known better and that I'll never be good enough.
And you know what? The enemy is right! I won't ever be good enough.
But the enemy is the father of lies and he always twists the truth - or in this case, leaves it out. No, I'll never be good enough...BUT GOD!
He has made me righteous!
He has made me pure, blameless, and holy!
So, I know this post kind was a bit long, and kind of went a couple different directions (at least it seems like that to me), but even so, it's been on my heart this past week. To close, here are some personal confessions I've reworded from Bible verses to say about ourselves and to encourage us in forgetting the past and moving forward:
And let's remember what Lamentations 3:22-23 says:
Let's forget the sins, mistakes, and regrets of our past and let's move forward; except for this time, let's really forget them and let's really move on. I for one am tired of dwelling on things I can't change. They are not worth my precious time anymore, and they aren't worth yours!
 |
| Thank you to Pinterest for helping me discover this quote, and to PicMonkey for helping design this image! |
Yet, I must admit that I haven't always taken my own advice.
I hate that, but it's true. I'm sure some of you, like me, have experienced this before as well. We tell ourselves to forget and forgive and to move on, and we say that we have and that we are. Sometimes, we really do, but other times are more difficult.
Maybe on the surface, we can even make ourselves and others believe it. But at the end of the day, we haven't actually done anything about it, because we haven't really looked at our hearts. We just know forgiving and pressing forward are the "Christian things to do," so we try our best to do them, oftentimes, within our own strength.
And, oftentimes, we fail. And sometimes we beat ourselves up over...and over...and over again.
We continue to think about our mistakes and regrets and past sins; continue to replay and rewrite scenarios and conversations in our heads; continue to want to change something that is long over and done with, regardless of the consequences we are left with.
This is not only a waste of time, but it's also a symptom of pride. When we mull over the mistakes of our past (whether 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago), we are hoping and wishing to fix things ourselves; we're beating ourselves up for not being perfect, and we're not taking hold of and living out of the grace God freely gives us.
In a sense, we are just nailing Jesus back up on that cross, and without realizing it, saying that His sacrifice wasn't enough to cover our mistakes. As if what I did or said was so bad that He couldn't possibly fix it. As if that thing I said or that thing I did was so bad, that His blood couldn't possibly have covered it.
What a slap in His face!
We cannot beat ourselves up over our past mistakes. God still loves us, and it's pretty dang difficult for Him to stop. We have to remember Romans 8. The whole chapter is good, but specifically:
Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for US ALL, won’t He also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for His own? NO ONE—for God Himself has given us right standing with Himself. Who then will condemn us? NO ONE—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and He is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. (v. 32-34, NLT, emphases mine)
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?...NO, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, Who loved us. (v. 35 & 37, NLT, emphasis mine)
And I am convinced that NOTHING can EVER separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, NOTHING in ALL creation will EVER be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (v. 38-39, NLT, emphases mine)
NOTHING can separate us from His love. Not anything that anyone or anything can do to us; not anything anyone can say about or against us; and not anything we can do, have done, or will do ourselves, to ourselves or anyone else.
NOTHING and NO ONE (including ourselves) can make God love us any less or any more than He already does. It's absolutely impossible. He will literally NEVER stop loving us. Even those who have gone to Hell or who will go to Hell; that didn't or won't stop Him from still loving those people.
Think about it: if you're a believer, what did you do to get saved? Besides believe and confess, NOTHING! You didn't have to be perfect, and you didn't have to get your life right. You just had to believe and confess, according to Romans 10:9-10; you simply had to accept the finished work Christ had already done for you.
So why do we so often think we have to be perfect to please God? Why do we so often think God is mad at or disappointed in us when we mess up? And why do we think anything that we do ourselves could ever keep us saved?
Yes, our works are very important - far more important than some people today seem to think. But even so, our works don't save us. They never could. They never will.
We are saved only by grace, through our faith. Ephesians 2:8-9 is clear on this, as well as on the facts that works don't save us:
For it is BY GRACE you have been saved, THROUGH FAITH—and this is NOT from yourselves, it IS the gift of God— NOT by works, so that no one can boast.
We are imperfect people who need a perfect Savior.
I'm quite far from being a Type A personality, so I never associated myself with being a perfectionist. But over this last year, the Holy Spirit has definitely showed me that's been a far greater area of struggle for me than I was ever willing or ready to admit. Instead of being grateful for where and what God has brought me out of, I get mad at myself for not having done it all right the first time. One of the enemy's favorite lines to whisper in my ear is that I should have known better and that I'll never be good enough.
And you know what? The enemy is right! I won't ever be good enough.
But the enemy is the father of lies and he always twists the truth - or in this case, leaves it out. No, I'll never be good enough...BUT GOD!
He has made me righteous!
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV)
We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. (Romans 3:22, NLT)
But it is from Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became God-given wisdom for us--our righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. (1 Corinthians 1:30, HCSB)
He has made me pure, blameless, and holy!
Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. (Colossians 1:22, NLT)
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1 John 1:7, NIV)
And of course, we must remember that God forgives us:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9, NIV)
“I don't remember the former things, and I don't dwell on the past. God is doing a new thing in my life!" (see Isaiah 43:18-19)
"I am a NEW creation in Christ! The old has gone, and the new is here!" (see 2 Corinthians 5:17)
"I put aside (and behind me!) the dark things of my past, and I now live in the light!" (see Romans 13:12 and 1 John 1:7 and Ephesians 5:8)
"I forget what's behind me. I look forward to what lies ahead. I am pressing onwards and upwards. I throw away everything that hinders me and the sin that slows me down. I will finish what God has called me to do and I will receive the prize He has for me!" (see Philippians 3:13-14 and Hebrews 12:1)
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (ESV)
Let's forget the sins, mistakes, and regrets of our past and let's move forward; except for this time, let's really forget them and let's really move on. I for one am tired of dwelling on things I can't change. They are not worth my precious time anymore, and they aren't worth yours!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Let's Be the Same!
Before I begin, here are 5 random facts:
1. As of today, we've been back in Idaho for one year!
2. Four years ago today, we got engaged!
3. I just threw dinner together. Literally.
4. I'm drinking leftover Dutch Bros., and my heart may explode. Not literally.
5. I find "Baby Einstein" rather entertaining.
So...there you go.
Today, I'd like to talk about my biggest take-away lesson from this past year of being back in Idaho, and it can actually be summed up in this quote from Pastor Judah Smith:
Be the same. Privately. Publicly. Personally.
It sounds so simple, and this message has been shoved in my face since I was a kid: "Just be yourself!" It's one of those messages that goes in one ear and out the other because it's so incredibly cliche, in both church and non-church culture.
Yet the Lord has never constantly bombarded me with the same message like He has this past year.
Be the same!
Be you!
Be yourself!
Stop trying and JUST BE!
I think I finally heard Him, and I'm glad for it. Trying so hard all the time is ridiculously exhausting.
I'm definitely ready to just be.
We've all struggled with trying to be something or somebody we're not. We've tried to keep up one appearance with one person and another appearance with someone else. We've tried to define ourselves by outward things, only to feel the exact opposite on the inside.
This is hypocrisy, and it isn't just a Christian problem as some people seem to think; it's a human problem.
Furthermore, I'm convinced it's an identity problem.
If you've been hypocritical and have never repented for it (or if you're currently struggling with it and are ready to repent), I encourage you to do that now. Heck, I've probably been a hypocrite today, so I'll join you:
Now, if there's someone our hypocrisy has wronged, let's apologize to them too. We can call them, get together with them, text, Facebook, email - whatever works and whatever you feel comfortable with. I've had to make this apology more than once, and while it's never fun to admit our faults, it's incredibly freeing and it encourages others as well. We're not perfect, and it's OK to admit it.
And after you've admitted it - to yourself, to God, and to anyone you may have knowingly wronged - it's water under the bridge. No reason to dwell on the past; we have good futures to look forward to!
But how do we make sure that from this moment on, we endeavor to live, be, think, and act the same way privately, publicly, and personally? (Which, wouldn't you know, is all a part of living on-purpose as well. Hooray for unintentional tie-ins!)
First, what do privately, publicly, and personally mean?
(I'll be honest: I don't know the context of Judah Smith's quote, so I'm going to give my own interpretation of it.)
1. PRIVATELY. Merriam-Webster defines it as "not known by the public or by other people." This to me speaks of a person's home life, or, what happens behind closed doors (literally).
Brent and I want to be in ministry for the rest of our lives. That's what we went to school for, and it's what we feel called of the Lord to do. We knew going into this that part of being in the ministry ( and ultimately, just part of being a Christian) is that at some point, the reality of "living in a glass house" will surface.
"Living in a glass house" simply means that people are watching you, whether you (or they) realize it or not, and whether you (or they) like it or not. It simply comes with the territory, and quite frankly, isn't worth complaining about (if you're living the way that Christians ought to be living...*cough*).
But at the same time, regardless of profession, every Christian person, couple, and family does have a private life. There will always be a time when the windows are shut, the doors are locked, and my family is all alone in our home or car.
What we do and say (and yes, even think) apart from the outside world is very important, and will affect every aspect of our lives. So will what we bring into our home and the things we're surrounded with in private.
I cannot effectively teach or preach the gospel if I never take time to pray, worship, and read God's Word. I can't effectively encourage others in living a holy life if I'm watching trashy television all the time or constantly listening to secular music. I can't love people if I'm gossiping at home. These are just some examples of what our private lives might entail if we're not keeping them in check.
2. PUBLICLY. Merriam-Webster defines this as "in a way that is meant to be heard or seen by many people" or "in a way that can be used, seen, bought, etc., by anyone."
Regardless of profession, age, sex, denomination, or relationship status, all Christians are called to live out their faith publicly and in front of others.
How are we behaving, speaking, and thinking in public? Whether we're at work or school; in the grocery store or at a coffee shop; chatting with a friend, at a family dinner, or on the phone with a debt collector; preaching from a pulpit, sitting in church, or sharing the Gospel with a friend...how are we behaving publicly?
What are we saying that will most likely be heard? How are we behaving that will most likely be seen? What are we thinking about that may come across in our facial expressions or body language? All of these are important things to consider.
3. PERSONALLY. Good ol' MW defines personally as being "in a way that involves a particular person and no one else" or "for oneself; as far as oneself is concerned." Merriam Webster also defines personal as "of, relating to, or affecting a particular person" or "relating to an individual or an individual's character, conduct, motives, or private affairs."
This includes what's unseen about us, but isn't the same as our private life. This refers to our thoughts, motives, character and heart, and is probably the most important of the three. The Bible instructs:
1. As of today, we've been back in Idaho for one year!
2. Four years ago today, we got engaged!
3. I just threw dinner together. Literally.
4. I'm drinking leftover Dutch Bros., and my heart may explode. Not literally.
5. I find "Baby Einstein" rather entertaining.
So...there you go.
Today, I'd like to talk about my biggest take-away lesson from this past year of being back in Idaho, and it can actually be summed up in this quote from Pastor Judah Smith:
 |
| Source: ME! Actually, PicMonkey helped me make this image. |
It sounds so simple, and this message has been shoved in my face since I was a kid: "Just be yourself!" It's one of those messages that goes in one ear and out the other because it's so incredibly cliche, in both church and non-church culture.
Yet the Lord has never constantly bombarded me with the same message like He has this past year.
Be the same!
Be you!
Be yourself!
Stop trying and JUST BE!
I think I finally heard Him, and I'm glad for it. Trying so hard all the time is ridiculously exhausting.
I'm definitely ready to just be.
We've all struggled with trying to be something or somebody we're not. We've tried to keep up one appearance with one person and another appearance with someone else. We've tried to define ourselves by outward things, only to feel the exact opposite on the inside.
This is hypocrisy, and it isn't just a Christian problem as some people seem to think; it's a human problem.
Furthermore, I'm convinced it's an identity problem.
If you've been hypocritical and have never repented for it (or if you're currently struggling with it and are ready to repent), I encourage you to do that now. Heck, I've probably been a hypocrite today, so I'll join you:
Father, forgive me for being a hypocrite.
Forgive me for believing or speaking one way, and acting or thinking another.
Thank You, Lord for Your forgiveness, grace, and mercy.
Help me to recognize when I'm being hypocritical or when I'm being tempted to be.
Reveal to me the areas in which I struggle with this the most.
Help me to be true to myself, and true to Your Word.
In Jesus' name, amen!
Now, if there's someone our hypocrisy has wronged, let's apologize to them too. We can call them, get together with them, text, Facebook, email - whatever works and whatever you feel comfortable with. I've had to make this apology more than once, and while it's never fun to admit our faults, it's incredibly freeing and it encourages others as well. We're not perfect, and it's OK to admit it.
And after you've admitted it - to yourself, to God, and to anyone you may have knowingly wronged - it's water under the bridge. No reason to dwell on the past; we have good futures to look forward to!
But how do we make sure that from this moment on, we endeavor to live, be, think, and act the same way privately, publicly, and personally? (Which, wouldn't you know, is all a part of living on-purpose as well. Hooray for unintentional tie-ins!)
First, what do privately, publicly, and personally mean?
(I'll be honest: I don't know the context of Judah Smith's quote, so I'm going to give my own interpretation of it.)
1. PRIVATELY. Merriam-Webster defines it as "not known by the public or by other people." This to me speaks of a person's home life, or, what happens behind closed doors (literally).
Brent and I want to be in ministry for the rest of our lives. That's what we went to school for, and it's what we feel called of the Lord to do. We knew going into this that part of being in the ministry ( and ultimately, just part of being a Christian) is that at some point, the reality of "living in a glass house" will surface.
"Living in a glass house" simply means that people are watching you, whether you (or they) realize it or not, and whether you (or they) like it or not. It simply comes with the territory, and quite frankly, isn't worth complaining about (if you're living the way that Christians ought to be living...*cough*).
But at the same time, regardless of profession, every Christian person, couple, and family does have a private life. There will always be a time when the windows are shut, the doors are locked, and my family is all alone in our home or car.
What we do and say (and yes, even think) apart from the outside world is very important, and will affect every aspect of our lives. So will what we bring into our home and the things we're surrounded with in private.
I cannot effectively teach or preach the gospel if I never take time to pray, worship, and read God's Word. I can't effectively encourage others in living a holy life if I'm watching trashy television all the time or constantly listening to secular music. I can't love people if I'm gossiping at home. These are just some examples of what our private lives might entail if we're not keeping them in check.
2. PUBLICLY. Merriam-Webster defines this as "in a way that is meant to be heard or seen by many people" or "in a way that can be used, seen, bought, etc., by anyone."
Regardless of profession, age, sex, denomination, or relationship status, all Christians are called to live out their faith publicly and in front of others.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16, NKJV)
Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. (1 Peter 2:12, ESV)
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. (Ephesians 5:15, NLT)
How are we behaving, speaking, and thinking in public? Whether we're at work or school; in the grocery store or at a coffee shop; chatting with a friend, at a family dinner, or on the phone with a debt collector; preaching from a pulpit, sitting in church, or sharing the Gospel with a friend...how are we behaving publicly?
What are we saying that will most likely be heard? How are we behaving that will most likely be seen? What are we thinking about that may come across in our facial expressions or body language? All of these are important things to consider.
3. PERSONALLY. Good ol' MW defines personally as being "in a way that involves a particular person and no one else" or "for oneself; as far as oneself is concerned." Merriam Webster also defines personal as "of, relating to, or affecting a particular person" or "relating to an individual or an individual's character, conduct, motives, or private affairs."
This includes what's unseen about us, but isn't the same as our private life. This refers to our thoughts, motives, character and heart, and is probably the most important of the three. The Bible instructs:
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)
The NLT words this verse as follows: Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. The Bible has a lot to say about the heart, both good and bad. Ultimately the takeaway is that our heart is very important to guard and protect because, if left to its own devices, is deceptive and troublesome ("The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9, ESV).
What are our intentions? Our motives? One way we can test our motives is to go to the Word of God. Hebrews 4:12 says in the ESV: "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
We can also ask God to reveal things about our character, motives, intentions, thoughts, or heart that we may not even recognize.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23-24, NLT)
Obviously, this isn't an exhaustive list of all the things we can do to keep ourselves on track in being the same privately, publicly, and personally. There are so many more scriptures I didn't touch on, and so many more examples of all three.
And of course, none of us will ever be perfect at this. We'll all have slip-ups from time to time, as we see plainly in Psalm 37:24 (NIV), which says: "though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand."
At the same time, I do believe that we as Christians can live holy lives and not stumble, which we see possible in 2 Peter 1:10 (NASB): "for as long as you practice these things, you will NEVER stumble." Even so, living that kind of a life takes work and a conscious, concerted effort on our part. Check out the verses in 2 Peter 1 leading up to verse 10; that doesn't happen overnight!
This was kind of a longer post, but it's just something I've been thinking about. Blessings as you endeavor to live each and every day being true to yourself and to God's Word.
Lord, show me the areas of my life - private, public and personal -
that I'm not being the same in, whether I realize it or not.
Teach me how to be more consistent.
Thank You, Lord, for always being consistent in my life.
You are my Rock; faithful, unfailing, and always true!
In Jesus' name, amen!
Friday, May 8, 2015
We've Moved!
I feel like I've dropped off the face of the planet since deleting my social media accounts! And it's been wonderful.
(For the record, I didn't delete anyone; I deleted myself. I'm not mad at or trying to get away from anyone either. I just wanted to clear that up, because I've been asked. If you're curious as to why I left social media, you can read some of my reasons here.)
It's been a bit of a whirlwind to say the least, but it's been an adventure nonetheless, and God has made it quite known to us that this is where He wants us to be.
I'll make it as short and sweet as I can because a lot has happened.
1. Brent and I had began the process of making a potential move (looking for apartments, applying for jobs) only to soon after decide on just staying where we were for the next six months or so, and to just commute to church twice a week.
2. But three weeks ago, Brent was called for an interview. And two weeks ago, he was offered that new job and lost his previous job...on the same day! (He lost his job due to accepting his new one because the two companies are in direct competition, so he was unable to put in a two week notice. But he's still in good standing with his previous company, so praise the Lord that he was able to leave on good terms!) Anyway, we decided to step out in faith and go for it: we were moving!
3. I told the new apartment manager that we wanted a two-bedroom and that we'd move in on May 1st, and so I also told my landlord we'd be moving out. However, in the hustle and bustle, I made the mistake of not giving him a 30-day notice! Whoops. Even so, because of the job situation, at that point we didn't really have a choice. My landlord said if someone rented it by May 1st (only 11 days from when I told him!), then it might be ok, so we started believing God to bring in a new renter for our landlord who could pay rent on or by May 1st! A stretch in the natural, sure...but nothing is too big for our God!
4. We started the moving process that week, and when we went to sign our lease, we found out that a three-bedroom was available for only $50 more! They offered it to us, and of course, we took it. What a blessing! It's the most space we've ever had, and there's so much natural light - it's great! The landlady also gave us the keys that day. So...Brent found out he got the new job on Monday, and we moved into our new apartment that Friday. Talk about a whirlwind!
5. The best part is that one week later, we were informed that a renter had been found for our previous place and would be paying rent...on May 1st!!! Talk about a faithful God! Not only that, but someone also anonymously blessed us with a large financial gift. I literally cried when I found out. Moving costs money, and this was a quick one so our finances got a bit out of whack. We were expecting God to provide, but we were expecting Him to provide just enough to cover all of our bills. However, I sometimes forget that He's the God of more than enough. "HE IS ABLE to do FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY than ALL that we ask or think!" (Ephesians 3:20)
We were beyond grateful and blessed, and were in absolute awe of God's provision and His answers to our prayers. Where He guides, He definitely provides! And it gets even better: we don't have to drive 160 miles every week anymore, haha! Now we can just walk to church, and it's amazing.
Here's the view we get to see just out our front door every day:
This picture however, with it's dumpster and storage sheds, simply does not do it justice. Here's another one from one of the bridges in our new town:
And yesterday, we got our internet hooked up, so I can finally share this awesome adventure with whoever might like to read it. Thank you to any and everyone who prayed for us, and to our amazing families for helping us with the craziness of moving in so many ways.
Also, just a few quick Declan updates:
- Declan is 5 and a half months old, and has TWO teeth coming in already! He's hasn't seemed to be hurting too bad, which is great.
- He's also eating baby food now. (I kind of started with rice cereal, buuuuut...I also kind of skipped that part. *cough*) Surprisingly, his favorite are peas! He also seemed to like avocado a lot. I've also given him some taste of banana, apples, and pears, but he still seems to like peas the best. Weird, but hey...that's fine with me if he likes his veggies!
- Since he was 3 months old, he's rolled over only two times (by accident, hehe), but he's still just content to scoot, lay on his back or tummy (sometimes - he's not a big tummy time fan), and play in his exer-saucer. He'll do it when he's ready, so no big deal. He's a talker (like his mama) and seems to be a thinker (like his daddy). He's also very content, social, and happy! We fall more in love with him each day.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Something Old
Over the past four years, I've tried my hands at a number of blogs, ultimately to avail. Not only did I get bored quickly or stopped writing entirely, but many of the things I wrote were poorly motivated, poorly written, poorly thought out, or poorly interpreted by readers (probably due to the first three things I mentioned having done poorly).
However, over the years, I've also written a lot of pieces that I'm proud of, enjoyed writing, or was just happy to share with the world. Here's a piece that I was just happy to share with the world because I'm thankful to be where I'm at now in my life.
I shared this on September 21st, 2014 on one of the attempted blogs I mentioned. It's a bit of my personal testimony. I hope you enjoy it, and even more, that you're encouraged.
However, over the years, I've also written a lot of pieces that I'm proud of, enjoyed writing, or was just happy to share with the world. Here's a piece that I was just happy to share with the world because I'm thankful to be where I'm at now in my life.
I shared this on September 21st, 2014 on one of the attempted blogs I mentioned. It's a bit of my personal testimony. I hope you enjoy it, and even more, that you're encouraged.
TimeHop is an app that I both admire and despise for its ability to make me recall things from my past. I admire it because I love seeing how far the Lord has brought me and how much I’ve grown over the years, and just like anyone, I love remembering the good ol’ days. But I despise it because it’s also a constant reminder of the things I don’twant to remember; things that I’ve tried to move on from for years, which kind of puts a damper on that whole Philippians 3:13 thing. You know…forgetting what’s behind and pressing on towards what’s ahead.
I’m not a fan of living in the past. I think that the past can be a nice place to visit but is a terrible place to live, good or bad.
Even so, I haven’t deleted the app off of my phone yet, and so, here I am. And according to TimeHop, four years ago today, I posted this:Apparently, I was not very happy with Christians that day. I couldn’t tell you the exact reason for why I posted that, but I do happen to know that four years ago this week I had a major turning point in my life. The worst year of my life was coming to a close, and while some things had gotten better on the outside, inside I was still a wreck.
At this point four years ago, every time I’d tried to use alcohol or people to mask anything, it just made me feel more weighted down and depressed. I needed a high, so I went to a drug-user I knew who worked at a coffee shop I frequented, and told them that I wanted to try marijuana; that I wanted to just relax, forget everything about my life, and feel better. So four years ago this upcoming weekend, I got high for the first and only time in my life, and you know what? It was great! I got exactly what I was looking for that night: I felt relaxed, peaceful, happy, carefree…and for one night, I wanted that lifestyle to be mine.
Up until that point, I had been ignoring God’s voice any way I could for quite some time. I never stopped believing God, and I never denied what I knew to be true. I was just really, really unhappy. Unhappy with myself, unhappy with my life, and unhappy with people.
That next day I awoke to the sun shining through the window, and in the silence of the morning, the Holy Spirit asked me a simple question. He wasn’t angry; there was only love in His soft voice as He whispered, “Brittany…was that better than Me?”
Of course, the answer was no.
I cried, I repented, I knew things would be different from then on, and they were. I won’t lie: I still had some rough moments the rest of that year as I transitioned into a new, uncharted season of my life. But the answer to God’s question that day was, is, and always will be “no.”
Nothing on this earth could ever satisfy me, or anyone else, the way He can.
Not people, position, power or wealth.
Not entertainment, sex, drugs or alcohol.
Not a job, an education, family, church involvement or doing good deeds.
Not social causes, activism, social media, experiences or the American Dream.
We were all made by Him and for Him, and because of that, we all will only ever be truly satisfied IN Him.
While four years ago, I may have been mad at Christians, the truth is that people and church were not the cause of my issues; I was. Sure, the enemy was too – oh, how he hates us all so. But at the end of the day, I made a lot of poor choices. I can never deny that.
But oh, the beauty of surrendering oneself to the Most High.
Jesus truly pulled me out of my self-made pit of despair, destruction and chaos. He gave me clarity, true peace, and true freedom, and He made this broken girl so very whole again. He can and will do the same for you; in fact, He wants to!
No matter where you’ve been, where you are, what you’ve done or what you’re doing…He created you, and He loves and wants you more than you could ever imagine! But the choice to respond to His love is yours, and only yours. His offer will be on the table until you breathe your last breath, but why wait? Why settle for anything less than the very best? The best doesn’t mean easy. Oh, it definitely won’t be easy…but it’s worth it.The good news is, He doesn’t expect perfection from any of us. He just wants a willing heart.
So whether you know Him, have walked away from Him, or have never considered Him before, come to Jesus. Just as you are, come to Him. He’ll give you the rest, the peace, the clarity, and the freedom you so crave.
And you’ll never thirst again. Because nothing quenches the soul quite like Living Water…
Friday, April 10, 2015
Peace out, Social Media!
If you're reading this, you probably clicked on the link I posted on my Facebook timeline or Instagram feed. And if you're reading this, please know that I won't be sharing anymore links on either for quite some time. Why?
Because I'm giving up social media.
For good.
Like, I'm going to delete all of my accounts by the end of today.
Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. Pinterest. Gone. Gone forever.
(OK, maybe not forever, but for the foreseeable future at least.)
I'm aware that some of you are probably thinking I should just limit myself. Practice self-control, self-discipline, and all that jazz. Normally, I'd agree with you on that 100%...but there's an asterisk.
I'm all about self-control and things in moderation, but I'm more about not causing people to stumble. Jesus has some strong words to say about causing people to stumble in Matthew, Mark, and Luke; Paul talks about this in both Romans and 1 Corinthians; and this concept is mentioned in numerous other verses throughout the Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments.
Causing others to stumble is a big deal. Huge, in fact. This is why there are just certain things that, even though I'm not necessarily against, I simply don't associate myself with or allow in my life or home. Not because they're wrong or evil, but simply because I don't want to ever be a stumbling block to anyone, anywhere, anytime.
And for me personally, social media has reached that point.
Now, you may be thinking, "But Brittany, how is your using social media causing others to stumble?" or, "What does not wanting to cause people to stumble have to do with you getting rid of social media?"
Well, to answer the first question: I might cause - or at least, may have caused - people to stumble using social media. Granted, I endeavor to be positive and encouraging with my posts, and I feel I succeed at that endeavor. However, I also admit that I've not always had the best motives in some of my posting and therein lies not only the causing of others to stumble, but more importantly, the answer to the second question...
While I don't want to cause anyone else to stumble, I just as much don't want to stumble myself. I'm not referring to blatant or lascivious sin here, but rather the "easier-to-hide" sins: judgment, cynicism, frustration, anger, covetousness, jealousy, pride, feelings of superiority, lack of mercy or compassion, distractions, laziness, selfishness, listening to voices other than that of my Shepherd's, and so forth. I've been taking some serious self-inventory lately, and while these things aren't who I am or want to be, I feel I've allowed myself to let them into my life through way of social media.
And so I apologize; apologize to God, to people, and to myself. for letting myself become what I know I am not in my personal use of social media.
This isn't to say I've abused or misused social media. I know I haven't anymore than anyone else. I know that we've all made social media blunders, just as we've all made blunders in real life. So I'm not beating myself or anyone else up over this by any means. I know that social media isn't a big deal for some people, and that's awesome - keep posting!
It's just that I feel it's time for me personally to take the approach that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 18: "If your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away."
This wasn't an easy decision for me to make. I've thought of it off and on for over a year, and have been seriously considering it for almost two months now. Recently, I even wrote out a list of pros and cons; reasons to keep it and reasons to get rid of it; how to use it if I keep it, and what I'm going to do if I delete it.
I think what finally convinced me - what was the icing on the cake in making my decision - was a quote that was shared yesterday in the ladies' Bible study I attend. Former NBA player Charles Barkley recently said that the reason he avoids social media is because "the internet is where fools go to feel important." Yesterday morning I was looking for an answer to my social media question, and that was it.
To keep or to delete? In the end, the latter option won.
I love social media, I really do - because I love socializing and I love people and communication. I know there's so much good that can come from social media, and I support it 100%. And maybe I'll return to it one day; I'm definitely not opposed.
But I have such a solid peace about leaving; I know it's what I need to do for the time being. I think I knew it's what I needed to do quite some time ago, but I was afraid...afraid because sadly, so much of my identity is wrapped up in my social media presence, instead of fully in Christ where it should be.
So, for now at least, I'm done.
I'll continue to write blog posts here, and I'm going to start giving more family updates here with pictures and whatnot. After all, it is OUR On-Purpose Life. Feel free to follow this blog if you're interested, and from time to time, I'm sure my husband will post links to here on his social media accounts.
But as I've said, I'm signing off indefinitely. If I ever come back, I'll let you know. In fact, I'll probably just send you a friend request.
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