A Brief Recap of the Last Two Years

OK, well...it's brief in that I'm recapping 2 years in one post. (Cut me some slack!)

My husband and I graduate from Bible school in twelve weeks. Two years seems so long ago, and yet, I feel like we've been here forever. When we got married, we were young and in love; immature and committed; and we only knew two things about our future: we wanted to devote our lives and our marriage to the Lord, and we wanted to go to Bible school before we had kids. 

At this particular time in our life, my husband had only been a Christian for two years and had already read more of the Bible in those two than I had in ten; I was a believer who was recovering from a fall off of a rather high horse. We both loved the Lord, but we were still figuring out how to "be a Christian."

So I must confess: we never really, technically prayed about where God wanted us to go. Horrible, right? We kind of just...decided. We, more or less, picked somewhere. You'd think that wanting to do the work of the Lord for the rest of our known existence, we would have thought to ask Him where He wanted us to go or what He wanted us to do, but we never really got around to that.

And yet, He still told us. The Holy Spirit is awesome like that.

We thought we were picking the school that we did simply because we knew a few people who had gone, we knew the basic doctrine was sound, and it was the cheapest Bible school out of all the ones we looked at. Looking back, the reality was it was absolutely where God wanted us to go the whole time, and our deciding was His prompting. We just didn't realize it at the time, and were taking the credit.

So…we got married in October, applied in December, and after having gotten accepted in January, we just went with it. And we knew it was right, even if we didn't really know how to ask God at the time. We just knew. He had already told us, whether we realized it or not. I tell you what: His grace had to have been all over us to keep us from ever doubting our decision because believe me, we so easily could have. But everything was falling into place perfectly. It made so much sense. 

So in June 2012, we left everything and everyone we had ever known. We ventured off into our future having no idea what to expect or what was to come of it; only that God was good and He had a plan that somehow involved us.

First year was a whirlwind of shock and awe and excitement and figuring all sorts of things out. Things about God, about ourselves, about marriage, about Christianity, about church, and about all of the things we thought we knew before about all of those same things. It was a season of restoration for me personally – a season which I honestly feel is just now coming to a close, and at perfect timing. For me, it was a season of separation from the world and an embracing of Christian culture for the first time in a long time. Both were needed in that season, and while I made some mistakes in both arenas, I don’t regret diving head first into either of them. Like I said, I needed this season. I wholeheartedly believe it was the only way for God to really grab my attention, and start shifting my focus from my past to His future for me. And it worked.

Due to the polar opposites of separation and embracing, first year was also a time of learning how to balance – something I believe for the rest of my life, I’ll be fighting for. I had a lot to learn. I think I was just excited about God and ministry and the Bible and truth and all the little bits and pieces I was learning. I was so confident in what I believed now, where as before I used to compromise so much. I was so confident in who I was and what kind of life was available to me in Christ, and I just wanted everyone - even other believers - to know that they could have it too. The problem was I didn't really know how to handle it all or what to really do with it. Basically I had a boatload of zeal, but not a whole lot of wisdom.

Summer was both weird and wonderful. It was wonderful because of time spent with family that we hadn't seen in ages, as well as learning how to really spend time with God. My husband and I also had amazing times spent with each other and with wonderful, God-chosen friends. I also got a lot of free coffee, and I love Oklahoma summers too - the rain, the storms, the heat, and the smell and feel of humidity in the air.

However, as I said, it was also weird. Mainly it was the growing pains that made it weird. I found myself constantly at odds with…myself. But really, the Holy Spirit was showing me how to hear His voice and recognize it over the other voices of this world vying for my attention. And not only was He teaching me to hear and recognize His voice, but also to listen to it – to really, truly know that I know that I know the voice of my Shepherd. It was also really the first season in my life that I tangibly realized the weight of the responsibility of being a follower of Christ, the reality of the loneliness of leadership, and the warfare that’s constantly being waged for my soul.

And hey, that whole learning process can be weird for us sheep sometimes.

Second year has come and is now almost over, with only one and a quarter term left. This year has been different. It started out different.  It was all about my character. All about who I was as a minister of reconciliation; as a messenger of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; as a leader; as salt and as light; as a citizen of Heaven; as a person. It's been a school year of being set free from emotional and mental battles, and even some physical ones. It’s been a school year of introspection and realizations about myself like I've never experienced, and probably haven’t even fully grasped yet. It’s been a school year of putting into practice what my weird and wonderful summer taught me: that I can hear the voice of God. This second year has confirmed what I already knew: that my life is not my own, and that I don’t have the right to have a bad day. 

I've been reminded that I can no longer exalt mistakes above the blood of my Savior, and to be slow to speak and quick to listen (I'll be working on that for years to come). I've learned that I don't always have to have an answer or a response, and that sometimes, the only answer or response necessary is "no." I've learned to love better, to be faithful, how to refocus and encourage myself in the Lord, how to pray. I've been reminded that the reason I'm here is for people. People are the only thing that matter on this earth. People...being set free...from deception, darkness and death. I've been reminded that not everyone will like me, not everyone will agree with me, and that people really don't spend their time thinking about me as much as I think they do. And God has used this school year to assure me, more than anything else, that I am exactly where He wants me to be, in every way.

And this second year, as I said, started out differently than before. The first week, much to my surprise, we found out we were going to move back to Idaho after school. We assumed that meant after Brent's third year. But by Christmas, we knew we were moving back to Idaho after this year. (Oh, um...I guess that was my official public announcement. We’re moving back to Idaho this May!)

And I think that in revealing to us when He did, God did a beautiful job (as always) of bringing things around full circle. We “just knew” in December 2011 that we’d be coming here, and in December 2013 – exactly two years later – we knew that we’d be going back. The same voice that told us to come here two years ago - the voice that we weren't entirely confident yet calling “God” - that was and is the same God who now is leading us back. But the difference between then and now - what makes it full circle - is that this time, we know. We recognize His voice, recognize His peace, and follow that voice...follow that peace.

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me."

John 10:27

I believe one of the few key things God wanted to teach me in these two years was that I can be confident in knowing His voice. The same Spirit that I've heard throughout the entirety of my Christian walk - that still, small voice - that's Him. It's always been Him. What a blessing to look back over the past 12 years of being a born-again believer; to look at all of those times when I doubted myself, or when I thought God wasn't answering, or even when I was just starting out as a Christian all on my own - how beautiful to know that I knew the Holy Spirit from the very first day I decided to live for Him! I'm almost tempted to feel bummed for having not realized it all these years, but how can I be? It's beyond amazing! How humbling and precious to know that He's spoken to me since the very first day of my journey with Him.

Now we're preparing for a new season...another new adventure that we know nothing about. All we really know is the next step: move back. That's it. And as much as I'd love to know more, I'm so thankful that I even know just that one thing with complete confidence. After two years and thousands of dollars, if knowing that I know (and have known) God's voice was the only thing I learned, it would have still been worth every day and every penny.

And if you're a believer, and you're always wondering why God never says anything to you, I promise you, He does! It may sound like a broken record (faith comes by hearing!), but it really is that still, small voice. So be still...and know that He is God!

Jesus said in John 14:16-17, "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever - the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you."

Back From My Break

Five days ago I ended my 3-week long social media break, right on schedule.

It was wonderful, to say the least. Along with the break from social media, my husband and I had chosen to not do any unnecessary spending for the entire month of January, and I had also cut my coffee intake down to one cup a day (though I cheated on occasion with that one).

Needless to say, all of those ingredients made for awesome nights of deep sleep and awesome days that were far more focused, and thus, better spent.

When I first left social media, I posted the following status on my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts:

When I returned, I was greeted by the following...

Not only did the kind words typed make my day (words of affirmation is my top love language, after all), but it was also incredibly humbling. The responses said to me that even when I doubted myself prior to the break, I had still been accomplishing what the Lord had led me to do with social media months ago, and that was to be encouraging...be positive...be a light.

I stepped back from social media for three reasons: I was simply spending way too much time on it and needed some peace and quiet; I was feeling guilty over a few status updates, comments and links shared in recent weeks; and because I wanted to reevaluate how and why I used social media at all.

Not to make me sound like a flawless user of social media (because I am most definitely not), but if I'm being totally honest, one of the things that I took from the past three weeks was that I was being way too hard on myself. I had been doing just what God had led me to do online, and though I've absolutely "fleshed out" (that's Christianese for "not doing what Jesus would do") in the recent past, the reality was, and still is, that I really am positive on Facebook, and it wasn't just these people's comments that showed me that.

I'm not saying this to be arrogant or "holier than thou" or anything, but...it's the truth. I am positive on Facebook, I am nice online, I am drama-free and I am a light.

Have I always been? No.

Have I been since the Lord specifically led me to be those things online several months ago? Absolutely not.

Will I be from now on? Actually...

Yes.

I don't know why I wouldn't, to be completely honest. Not that I'm perfect, by any means - I know that better than anyone else. But for me, the whole purpose of this social media break was to pinpoint my problem areas in social media so that I could work on them, recognize incorrect motives and methods, and do something about it so that those things won't be problem areas anymore.

The purpose of my social media break was not just to rest from online noise. It was to look inward and make necessary adjustments, so that I could better focus my attention where it should be focused: outward. Not just online, but in every area of my life. What a waste it would have been if I took this break, focused in on specific scriptures, recognized what I needed to change, repented, and sought and received answers from God...only to not endeavor to actually put into practice what I had learned.

Again, that's not to say I won't ever make another mistake in some way, shape or form for the rest of my known online life...but the reality is, I don't have to if I don't want to.

For one thing, I'm in control. I'm in control of my choices, my actions, my words, my thoughts, and even my feelings and emotions. I'm in control of whether or not I voice my own personal opinion in a "knowledge puffs up" kind of way, or if I speak God's Truth in a "love builds up" kind of way. It's my choice whether or not I respond to something, it's my choice whether or not I comment, and it's my choice whether or not I share something. There are some things in life that I simply cannot control, but everything I do on social media is always my choice.

For another thing (and this goes hand-in-hand with self-control), my goal in life is to please my Father. I know my Father, and because I know Him, I very well know the difference between what does and does not please Him.

So...having said all of that...I still plan on using social media for as long as social media exists. I still plan on sharing random anecdotes, pictures and updates from my personal life. I still plan on sharing [some] articles and videos that I find interesting. When I have children, I'll probably annoy you with pictures of them throughout your day and I probably won't care, because my kids will be ridiculously cute. I also plan on continuing to use Facebook as a way to share and show the beautiful love, absolute truth and redeeming power of an Almighty God at work in the life of an imperfect girl like me.

P.S. - When you ask for prayer on Facebook, and I tell you I'm praying for you, I mean it. However, I'll never accept your invitation to play FarmVille (is that still a thing?) or Candy Crush, I don't really care whether or not the cute puppy or sick child can get a million likes, and I probably won't ever send you a Facebook gift...though, I really do mean it when I tell you happy birthday.

Just a bit of an update!

It's been about 17 days since I last wrote. It's been an incredible month so far, and God has been blessing my soul so much. That may sound cheesy, but it's true! His still, small voice; His precious, sweet words whispered straight to my heart have been unlike times previous in my relationship with Him, and I'm in love all over again with my King!

This month, as I wrote in a previous post, Brent and I have been doing a spending fast, which has been awesome. We broke it during Martin Luther King Jr. weekend and spent a bit on - I won't lie - eating out. The first time was fine because we had a wonderful time spent with friends celebrating a belated birthday, and it was so nice to know that after having not spent anything for almost three weeks (a BIG deal for us), we had no guilt in spending money on an occasion like that. It was a great lesson. Then we had a coupon the next night, and then I had a girl day with a friend the next day. Then we realized how lousy we felt for not only breaking our fast that many times, but also realizing that we were spending when we didn't need to. So we said, "OK, no more." It was another great lesson for us, and we've been back on track since then.

I've also been reading the Bible in 90 days, and while I admit to have spread out my daily readings a couple times to more than one day (Exodus...Leviticus...oy vey!), I've stuck to it, and I'm so pleased with myself. To be honest, it's amazing God's consistency in the Old and New Testaments, and it's amazing reading the common stories, being reminded of my heritage in God and seeing Him at work in the lives of ordinary people. The same God of the Old Testament is the same God that lives and operates in me today! How glorious!

Also, I'm two weeks into a three-week social media break, which for me has included Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. (Twitter too, but I never really use that.) The last two weeks have been so liberating! It's funny how much we can let social media subtly control us, rather than us controlling ourselves in how much we use it. For me though, it wasn't just a break from the fact that I spent way too much time using it, but it was also a refocusing time on how I have used social media, and how I want to use it from now on. I haven't entirely figured out the specifics of my future social media usage plans, but I did use this list as a template for my devotional time regarding the break I've been taking from it, and it's been very eye-opening.

I've also been brainstorming a lot of different blogging ideas and plans, and haven't come to a conclusion yet. I'm going to leave that up to the Lord, and seek Him on what He wants me to do concerning that area of my life, so we'll see. For now, this is where I'm at as a blogger, and I'm enjoying it.

Until next time, be blessed!

Bye-Bye Vacation! Hello New Year!

Tomorrow, my husband and I go to school for the first time in three weeks!

OK, really it's only two. But it feels like three because we went home to Idaho for a week, and when we got home were able to attend three days of class before the two-week Christmas break began, so...it at least feels like three weeks.

And I'll be totally honest: I feel like the last two weeks have been not very on-purpose. I still read my Bible every morning and prayed, but I didn't do anything else with any sense of "purpose" that I was aware of. It definitely was a nice, long break (I can't believe Christmas was just last week!), but it was entirely self-centered. I literally sat in my house the entire two weeks.

Literally.

And while everyone needs rest, and everyone needs some extended rest like that from time to time, I'm not so sure I did. One week? Yes please! Ten days? Absolutely! Fourteen? Maybe. Sixteen? Way too long.

I feel way out of the loop...way out of the zone...like my groove's been thrown way off.

I didn't really make any serious New Year's resolutions this year, beyond that of my spending fast (so far, so good by the way!) and endeavoring to read the entire Bible in 90 days (also so far, so good). But I figure tomorrow is a great time to hit the ground running all the same: it's the first Monday of 2014!

It's not so much a "start over" as much as it is a "start back up again" for me. I'm excited for tomorrow to get here, but it's also a bit overwhelming because I feel like the last two weeks have been so overloaded with downtime that I don't know how to get going again.

Nevertheless, I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! This is going to be an AWESOME year, filled with new adventures and new seasons and new...NEWNESS!

2014, I'm ready for you! Are you ready for me?

The Lord says, “Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don’t you see it? I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land.

Isaiah 43:18-19 (NCV)

New Year, No Spending

(...well, at least for 60 days.)

It's 2014, and for Brent and I, that means we're starting the year out by doing a no-spend month (or a spending fast, as it's also called).

No, we're not trying to "stick it to the man" or anything like that. It's purely an attempt - a goal, really - to simplify and save. Last year we tried and failed. (I really wanted to buy the 4-pack of the stop-animation Christmas classics at Walmart.) But this year, it's a bit different. Last year, it was in November for one thing (appropriately deemed by us, "No-Spend November"), and it was a spur-of-the-moment decision and poorly planned, as seen in its lack of execution (and, I clearly wasn't very disciplined). This year, it's obviously kicking off our new year, and we've actually (kind of) planned for it this time. Not only that, but the goal is to do not one, but TWO months of non-spending.

As I mentioned, our purpose in doing this is to save money and simplify our life. I've wanted to live more simply for quite some time now, and have gone through various phases of said endeavor. To be honest, our life is already pretty simple, but we're still a product of our time and culture and there are just a few things we'd like to cut back on or cut out entirely.

We weren't big on the making of a bunch of new year resolutions or goals though we, like most, did make some. Really, it was cutting back on spending, saving as a result and...well...that's really about it for the time being. There are other goals we have, but if there's anything we've learned since living in Oklahoma, it's to sloooooow down and not take on too much at once.

Simplifying is a process, I've learned. Since July of last year, I've tried to jump on many-a-simple-living-bandwagon  too quickly, and got in over my head. Not to mention, simplified living can look different for different people, something I don't think I realized when I first began my journey towards simplicity.

For some, it's minimalism all across the board (which can creep me out a bit, not going to lie). For others, it's natural or chemical-free living. For some, it might be no or very little technology, not having a car, getting rid of social media or having a 100% DIY'd lifestyle. I tried the chemical-free lifestyle for a couple months in an attempt to live a more simplified life - I made my own cleaning products, got rid of all of my medicine, planned a patio garden and all that other natural-living Pinterest-y stuff. But it just wasn't for me, and because it wasn't for me, it honestly led to far more stress.

Simple living looks different for different people, but I think that the goal of simplicity for those who desire it is ultimately the same: freedom and contentment. Brent and I look at simplicity of lifestyle as a way to feel free to do what and go where God has called us to at His word, to be a greater blessing to others and to not get caught up in today's distorted "American Dream." And for us, the road to simplifying our lifestyle simply begins with finances.

So, here are our personal "No Spending" rules for the months of January and February 2014:

• ALWAYS TITHE. 
• (We can't afford not to!)
• ONLY spend money on NEEDS. 
• (Rent, bills, school payment, necessary groceries, gas, hygiene, necessary household items, and so forth. The only things here that are technically wants, but we're listing here are Netflix and makeup. Don't judge!)
• NO spending on any WANTS.
• (Going out to eat, entertainment, Starbucks, clothes, books, decor, junk food, and so forth. No extra stuff, basically.)

That's it, really. Pretty simple. The idea is to save everything that we don't need to spend so that we can pay off debt faster, have more money to give and of course, grow in the area of contentment.

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain."

1 Timothy 6:6

Also, we have an exciting new adventure coming soon, and that will require some extra funds! But more on that later...

If this sounds like it might be up your alley, I encourage you to join us - it's not too late! (And remember: you can start a no-spending month at any time.) Have you ever completed a spending fast? What are some of your life-simplification tips or habits? How are those New Year goals coming along? (Don't give up!)

Moving Forward in Social Media

I originally wrote this for another blog I was working on, but have decided to put said blog on hold for the time being. I still liked the post though, and decided to share it here! Enjoy...

I once heard someone say that nobody can escape or outrun their past anymore due to social media, and really, the internet in general, and I suppose that's ultimately true.

The Huffington Post posted this article back in October, and people have been warning us younglings to be careful what we post for as long as I can remember having an account. I even hear tell that no matter what you post - pictures, text, etc. - it will always exist somewhere in the World Wide Web, even if you delete it, and I believe it.

I've been using social media for quite some time. I remember when MySpace was more popular than Facebook. I also remember being among the first generation of Facebook users, starting my account in 2006 when you couldn't use it unless you had a college email. I also got Twitter in 2006 and remember when barely any of my friends had one. Goodness, I've even been texting since 2005 when I got my very first T-9 flip phone!

And don't even get me started on emails and various accounts and blogging and all the rest. I've been starting and stopping blogs since I don't even know when. I've literally littered the blogosphere. The whole internet, really.

And I'll be honest: I'm not the most innocent poster, either. I've done it all, from being a hypocrite to bashing politics, to being argumentative and controversial, to being too serious, to being mean and negative. I've been immature and posted obnoxiously opinionated opinions that I don't even hold anymore, on either side of the fence. I've lied, manipulated, over-shared, flip-flopped around based on whatever phase of life I was in, and heck...I've even sexted before.

But I've also been encouraging. And kind. And funny. And joyful. And honest. And helpful. And worshipful. And challenging, and I've been challenged too.

Simply put, I've grown up a little bit.

I've grown up in my walk with God and in my Christian worldview, in my use of technology, my motivations and my age. And while age isn't necessarily considered an indicator of maturity anymore, I still think growing up holds some weight, and I still believe that people are allowed to change...at least in my book they are.

And in His.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. 

(Philippians 3:12-14, NLT)

So yes, be careful with what you post because it is there forever. But remember that in the grand scheme of all of creation and existence and eternity, what you posted on Facebook at 19 years old is not an indicator of who you are now or how God sees you.

Remember that in Christ, old things have passed away and all things are made new. If you are yielded to Him, God will make a way for you where there is no way. Repent for past social media failures, and make necessary changes where you need to make them. If you slip up and make another posting blunder, delete it and apologize. Acknowledge your mistakes, but keep moving forward. Keep going. Don't let your past - in any capacity, social media or otherwise - dictate your future for one more moment.

Life is short, and there's a purpose for yours.

My Opinion Doesn't Matter...

...and if you're a Christian, yours doesn't really either.

It may come as a surprise, but it's the truth.

I'm not saying we can't have opinions on certain things. For example, my opinion on neon orange is that it doesn't look good on me. See? An opinion that's pretty nonchalant and doesn't really call much attention to itself. It's just...an opinion.

But so often, people (myself included) get this idea in their head that their opinion on certain things actually matters in the grand scheme of all existence and that their opinion is so awesomely correct that it deserves to be acknowledged simply in the name of free speech (which, in my opinion, doesn't actually exist...but I digress).

I've recently discovered that this isn't true.

Now, I like to talk and I like to be listened to. [My opinion is] I don't actually think that's always a bad thing, but it can lead to negative...stuff. I know for my life, it definitely has. Not world-shattering stuff, but...stuff.

For example, a while back I thought that I actually knew stuff about politics, so I thought (on more than one occasion) that I'd shoot my mouth off about my opinion, only to wind up looking like a bit of a fool. (Funny, I think I read about that somewhere...Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. - Prov. 17:28)

I've also been guilty of subconsciously feeling as though I "knew it all," and therefore acted like a "Know-It-All." (Hmmm, that sounds familiar too...We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. - 1 Cor. 8:1-2)

A while back, I chose to only be positive on my Facebook. I wanted to keep it simple and focused on Jesus. Yes, I post pictures of what my husband and I are up to and so on and so forth. But I purpose to preach the gospel to every creature, Christians included, and Facebook is a great way to do that. I've recently given into the temptation to be opinionated recently though, and I've been pretty passive-aggressive about it.

Warning: Honesty Ahead

I'll share articles others have written as a way to sneak my opinion on a topic in without having to say it myself because "I've chosen to use Facebook on purpose to encourage others and share the love of Christ." And in showing such evident Christ-like love, I've even posted some of those articles with specific people in mind that I want to read said article. Why? Sure, there was a part of me that wanted them to think about changing their minds, or even just wanted them to be open-minded enough to understand why we Christians believe the way we do, but it really all came down to two things: A) I wanted the people to know that I was right and that they were wrong, and B) I wanted to share my opinion, in whatever way I could, simply because I wasn't sharing it. MY voice wasn't being heard. MY thoughts and ideas and opinions were left alone.

So classy. So full of love. So humble.

You know what all of that was? PRIDE. Gross, disgusting, nauseating, evil, sin-producing PRIDE. And that's what wanting to share our opinions always is, isn't it?

It's just pride.

We want to be heard. We don't want to admit we're wrong. We want to be agreed with. We want people on our side. We want to defend ourselves or what we believe or what we like or what we want. We want to be right. We want it to be all about us.

But it's not about us, Christians.

It's never been about us. It never has been, and it never will.

If you are a Christian, it's about HIM. It always was, is and forever will be. HIS plan. HIS purpose. HIS people.

My opinion should be HIS opinion. HIS "opinion" is His Word. It's the Bible. That's what we should be basing all of our "big" opinions on. And when we're caught in the middle of an opinion war, we need to always bring it back to HIS opinion...HIS word...HIS truth.

And yes, I know that nonbelievers don't always get why we trust the Bible so much, and I know that it can be frustrating, but God's Word doesn't need defending. (Not to mention, the only reason you're frustrated is probably because of pride anyway, and it has nothing to do with wanting to defend God.) But just in case it does, God doesn't need defending. His Word won't return void. His Word stands the test of time. His Word IS absolute Truth (not an opinion), and we can share what the Bible says and still walk in love. I promise, it's possible!

And I'm not saying we can't be outspoken or bold in what the Word says; by all means, do, be and say. But be bold in love, and check yourself. (I'm still learning how to do this, too!) What's your motive? Are you being led by the Spirit, or by your own flesh and pride? Do you want to glorify Him or yourself? Do you want to point people to TRUTH, or do you want people to "know you're right?"

When someone "wins" an argument or a debate, often times, both people lose. I can't speak for all Christians, but I know my motivation in several past theological debates I've had (and, in my opinion, there's a difference between a heated debate and a healthy discussion - I rarely regret healthy discussions, but I digress) was to get the other person to lose face. My thinking was that if they lost face and had nothing to say, even if they were angry, they'd realize their error and come to the truth of Christ. It was also because I wanted them to know they were wrong. (And...in all honesty...wanting them to come to the knowledge of the Truth often took a backseat to wanting them to know I was right.)

But I can also honestly say I've repented before the Lord for this pride, and I'm not living in those past failures, no matter how recent they may have been. I'm reminded everyday that it's not about me or what I think or about what people have done or said to me, or vice versa. It's about Him and what He said. It's about pressing forward. It's about getting HIS message of LOVE out to a lost and dying world.

Ask yourself these questions, Christ-Follower:

What message am I sending to people?

Is it about me? What I know? What I do? How I'm right? What I think about this or that?

Or do I bring people His message? Do I glorify Jesus? Do I point to Jesus? Does my life produce His fruit? Do my actions, words and thoughts look like His?

Am I living for me, or am I living on purpose for Him?

And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. 

(1 Corinthians 2:1-5)